Week 35 - Just Some Observations

I gained a bit of weight this week.  It's funny because last week I was talking all about carbohydrates, and this week I think I gained weight because I ate too many. My insomnia was really bad this week and I think it's diet-related too.  My measurements stayed the same though.  In another two weeks I will have to do yet another photo and a bodyfat test to boot.  Let's see what results come back from that.  I have a weight goal for the end of the month, which I think is pretty attainable even with this week's gain.

Babble babble babble.  

It was very nice to return to dance class this week and have my teacher and classmates all remark on how I have lost weight since the last class.  I didn't think I made any noticeable changes at all this summer, but it's clear I'm doing something right.  One change I noticed is that I feel so much more in control of my body.  I have command over my muscles in a way I never had before.  Never underestimate the power of a good weight training program!

I didn't mention this in last week's post, but I didn't do the Spartan Race last week after all.  I knew I wasn't ready to tackle it.  I signed up on impulse without realizing that when it comes to obstacle runs, Spartan is the most difficult race there is.  Even super-fit people have trouble with that one.  The good news is a friend of mine at the barn read my FB post about how I wasn't doing the race.  She has done the Warrior Dash before even though she had to struggle through some of the obstacles.  She also shares my distaste for running.  She said she would be happy to do the Warrior Dash or Dirty Girl run with me in the future.  She said we should get a team of Oxbow riders together and do the run to raise funds for the kids' program.  I like that idea. I have looked at the Warrior Dash obstacles online.  They all look doable, although some look more doable than others. 

I am not just looking to do this with my Oxbow friends, just so you know.  If any of my out-of-town buddies and besties want to make a visit to NY for the weekend and are looking for some activities beyond shopping and eating, this might be a fun way to bond.  Just sayin'.  If you're a NY-based, non-rider friend, I'm extending the invitation to you too! 

I have my performance next weekend for the Harrison Players anniversary concert.  That means this week is "Hell Week".  I will have no time to cook, so I will be surviving on takeout.  It's going to be tough to eat really well this week.

One of my obsessive thoughts this week has been about my body transformation so far.  In a post I made earlier this year, I mused on what I expected from this program regarding transformation.  I wondered what I could achieve.  Most particularly, I wondered if I would lose my assets if I lost the amount of bodyfat I hoped to lose.

I can happily report that isn't happening - or maybe not so happily report it isn't happening.  Even though my chest measurements are smaller than they were at the beginning of the year, I still have a hefty amount of boobage.  When I made a discovery of some old bras at the back of my underwear drawer last week, I saw some of them were from a time when I was a smaller size (or thought I was a smaller size).  I tried them on hoping they might fit now. Some of my current size bras are starting to gap right now, so maybe a smaller size will be just what I need.  The smaller bras still don't fit.

Even though my body isn't as small as I would like it to be, it is becoming smaller and my boobs are starting to look out of proportion.  If I wear a baggy top, my upper body still looks large because the top will drape over my chest and stand away from my body.  If I wear a tight top, my boobs jut out awkwardly making me look like an overweight porn star.

It's clear I won't lose my boobs on this program even if I lose all 30+ pounds.  I think I can't lose that much weight or I'll be so top-heavy that I'll fall over.  I have put some thought into having  a reduction in the past.  It's a tough choice to make because I'm not so big as to cause major pain or back problems, so insurance wouldn't like cover what would end up being a completely aesthetic procedure, but it might be worth the money.


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