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Showing posts from September, 2014

The Most Horrible Time (Song Parody)

Just a little song parody I came up with.

Just to reiterate, I don't actually hate fall.  I hate the hype.  I'm a naturally contrarian sort of person and when people start becoming obsessed with anything, I become equally tired of it.  When I am constantly barraged with "I love fall" posts on social media, it all seems to be about something rather contrived and esoteric, rather than what people are likely to experience.  No matter what the season, we all still have to get up and go to work every day.  Chances are in any given season, most of us aren't going to experience much of what we think the season is all about.

I do have a few certain beefs with this time of year.  The first one being that I do prefer summer and particularly I love long days, outdoor swimming (preferably in natural bodies of water), and being able to wear shorts, cute sundresses and cute sandals (and the pedicures that go with them).  I don't like that transition to jeans and sweaters and…

Facts About Life as a Chronic Insomniac

1.  You can only flip the pillow so many times before there is no longer a cool side.

2.  You live in fear of the day your boss catches you dozing off in a meeting - or worse, falling asleep at the wheel.

3.  You miss the 80s.  Specifically you miss the 80s because Channel 7 used to show great old movies at 3AM in those days.

4.  Stimulants are pretty ineffective at combating insomniac fatigue - unless you drink enough of them to keep you awake the next night.

5.  You don't need to turn on the light to see your way to the bathroom in the middle of the night.  You can make your way around the house in the dark because you have done it so many times.

6.  Drinking an alcoholic beverage is fraught with indecision.  Do you dare risk the 3AM bounceback?

7.  Your Ambien is your most prized possession.

8.  Only you know why the peanut butter jar, the cookie car, and/or the chip bag always run out so quickly.

9.  You want to kill someone every time you hear the same tired advice: "Go to bed t…