Random Thoughts

I hate it when toilet paper commercials claim using the advertised brand will prevent skid marks on your underwear.  Not only is it gross, but it's misleading.  Skid marks aren't caused by improper wiping.  Skid marks happen when you don't eliminate fully.  If you clear all poop from the chute, you will wipe pretty clean regardless of what kind of toilet paper you use.  If you constantly suffer from skid marks, you don't need new toilet paper.  You need a better diet, a better exercise routine, and a better water intake.

Do you ever wonder how it would have changed the course of WWI if Dick Dastardly had managed to stop the pigeon?

Why is it so hard to find single-pan eyeshadows?  Sometimes all I want is one or two basic colors like plum or gray or taupe or vanilla.  I go into any cosmetics store or drugstore to try to find one, and I only ever see the colors I want in a palate of six or nine or twelve shadows.  My basic colors come alongside colors I wouldn't wear on even my most wildly experimental days such as 80s-prom-dress teal, stripper-glitter bronze, and hipster burnt orange.  We need more companies that sell empty customizable palates with interchangeable single eyeshadow pans (I know MAC does this and perhaps I need to break the habit of Ulta and Sephora).  We need more of those.  I hate the way cosmetic companies try to make me pay for colors I don't like or won't use just so I can have the one or two colors I want. 

The former mayor of the Village of Mamaroneck sought higher office two years ago and lost.  Now he wants to be mayor again.  In his previous tenure he ran as a Republican Conservative.  Now he is running as a member of "The Friendly Village Party".  What the heck is the Friendly Village Party?  I think the real name of this party is, "I'm A Republican, But Please Don't Associate Me With Trump" party.  It is such a copout.  You won't admit to your own politics because you know it has a stigma in a town with a heavy Latinx population?  Well, tough!  Your party created Trump and put him in office.  If you're ashamed of that, maybe you should get out of politics.

Candy corn is a polarizing Halloween candy and few people are indifferent to it.  I always considered myself an exception to that rule until recently.  I thought I was indifferent to it.  I prefer many other candies to candy corn.  I like things with nuts or chocolate or caramel or anything with more varied flavors and textures.  I don't find the taste and texture of candy corn  offensive, but it lacks the intensity I prefer - or so I thought.  Kevin loves candy corn.  He always buys it at Halloween for himself.  I end up eating it.  I eat a lot of it.  I can't stay away from it.  It may not have a special taste, but I am drawn to the texture.  I must like it more than I admit. I still would never buy it for myself.  It's not delicious enough to warrant all those empty sugar calories.  (Twix bars forever!)

I know they're bad for me, but sometimes I really want Hot Pockets. 

While the endless posts about coffee and misanthropy on Facebook continue to be the biggest reasons I want to delete my account again, I am becoming enraged by another type of post.  I am sick of these, “Like and share if you care about X.”  It’s even worse when the post says something like, “I know you won’t share this,” or, “Nobody is brave enough to share this.”  The posts aren’t meant to raise awareness.  They are meant to boast and shame.  When you make posts like this you are saying, “Look at me.  I care about these issues.  You aren't posting this, so I am going to assume you don't care. Therefore I am superior to you.”  The poster’s friends have to like and share to prove themselves.  Trust me, even if I agree with you, I won’t share it. Even if you got a thousand people to share an “I hate cancer,” post, what have you accomplished exactly?  If you got those people to make a donation to the American Cancer Society or do volunteer work with cancer patients, I would be much more impressed.

(Those posts are even worse when accompanied with the phrase, SMH)  

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